Afraid {5 Minute Friday}

It had already been a rough road making it to that particular day. 

It’s the only time in my life I was paralyzed by fear.   

It’s the only time it ever crossed my mind.  The thought that I might be leaving them.  The thought that I might just not make it through. 

I was afraid.  I was terrified.

There had already been two natural miscarriages and a vanishing twin.  There had already been three separate trips to the hospital with massive amounts of bleeding.  Once at 29 weeks, once at 31 weeks, and once at 34 weeks. 

I was so anxious about what was going on with my body.  I was nervous that at any moment it would turn into another devastation.  There were no answers. 

There were thoughts that I might not make it through the pregnancy. 

There were also concerns that the baby might not make it. 

Finally, at 39 weeks, we headed in for the scheduled c-section.

He was finally here.  Safe and sound.  My sweet baby boy.  The second child to call me mommy. 

I’ll never forget that sound. 

The beautiful cry of the baby I’d prayed over for 273 long days. 

Then I was no longer afraid. 

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