A little background on me. Since I was probably ten years old, I couldn’t wait to be a wife and mom. I wanted a family of my own. I would spend days upon days at my grandmother’s house and loved every minute of it. She didn’t drive and she didn’t work.
I found her life to be so fulfilling. She waited on my grandpa hand and foot. She raised her kids and helped raise her grandchildren. We’d bake apple pie, homemade twinkies, and cookies every single time I was there. We’d play several games of scrabble in a day and turn in exhausted from a day of homemaking.
I wanted this in a marriage. I wanted to keep the house. I wanted to not work, bake, cook, clean, be a wife, and raise children. I still do.
Fast forward to the here and now.
Last year we were caught in the midst of a conspiracy. It was a leap of faith for him to leave a job after nine years to start a new career. Then, suddenly, less than a year later unfortunate events forced the owner of his new company to close the doors.
We were thrown into a new season of life. A season we were unprepared to deal with.
The decision to go back to school was one I encouraged. It was an ideal opportunity and one I completely support.
You see, I could have been more concerned about what I wanted or discouraged him from following his dream. I could have whined about the effect it would have on our family. I could have moaned about how it would disrupt my being home with the kids.
Had I done any of these things he would have taken another mediocre job to support us for the next 30 or so years. If I hadn’t supported him in this he could have pushed his dream to the side to do what he felt obligated to do.
I know this because he did exactly this when we had our first child. He stayed in a crappy job because it was steady and secure. In an economy like we’ve had the past few years, it was safe.
I could have stomped my feet, thrown a fit, and chosen to be selfish. I could have. At times I wanted to.
Instead, I chose to put on my big girl panties and decided to step up to the plate. <— tweet
The past year has been stressful. I have stepped into the role of provider while he is completing his schoolwork. I don’t mind it. It’s something I can do to support him right now. A year or two is nothing when looking at the rest of our lives.
I decided it was my duty to do whatever it took to allow him to fulfill his dream. Sure, it’s hard on me at times. It’s true I rarely sleep because of juggling the house, the kids, and two jobs. The good news is this will be a short season and I can do anything for a short period of time.
Sometimes being of service to our husbands is more than laundry, making dinner, and caring for the children. <— tweet
Sometimes it is supporting him in a new endeavor that will forever change the path of his life.
For better or worse includes anything that falls in between. Right now we are somewhere in between. It has been better and it certainly could be worse.
No matter where in that spectrum your marriage may fall, remember that for better or worse isn’t always worse.
I’ll leave you with a few questions I asked myself.
- Are you feeling like you are smack dab in the middle of the worse?
- Could looking at your situation through another perspective help you make it through?
- Is there something you could do to be of service to your husband during this season?
Check out a few other posts in this series with the ladies below!
Jamie @ Brown Paper and Strings
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Praying God’s one-hundred fold blessing over you and your husband when this time of in-between is over! Fantastic example of Christ-like service.
Thank you so much Monica! I receive that one-hundred fold blessing!!
This is a beautiful example of what it means to love your spouse selflessly! Right now both my husband and I need to work because neither of us has time for a full-time job, because we’re still full-time college students. As much as I’d love to be a stay-at-home wife (and, Lord willing, a mama someday), this is part of my vocation as wife right now: to help my husband in his job of supporting us by contributing to our income financially.
Thank you for this example!
Jaimie, I’m proud of you! It’s hard when we want one thing but have to do another. It’s difficult to stay positive and now allow it to lead to resentment. Keep the faith. Your gracious attitude will bring you many, many blessings in the future!
Kelly – you sound like an amazing wife, mama, and all around person!
I say that because you have an extra load and you still manage to maintain the blog, and you are sacrifice yourself for your loved ones. Service through sacrifice – I like that!
Oh Jamie, your comments make me feel so blessed. I appreciate your amazing words. I rarely feel so amazing but I will have to remember your sweet comment.
“For better or worse and everything that falls in between.” Love that! The beginning of my marriage was a major in-between. Sometimes I chose to be selfish and others I succeeded (with God’s help) at being supportive. I echo Monica’s prayers for your time in-between!
Thank you Emily. I believe it’s the in-between that shapes us into the people we are. Boy, I wish those in-betweens were a little less crazy!
This time of in-between can be so stressful. But, I am encouraged by your humble attitude that you can do anything for a short time and that this is just a season. I’m praying that God will show you blessing upon blessing in this season.
Thank you Missy. I live my life looking forward only a few weeks at a time. It’s just easier that way!
Thank you for sharing your “in between” time. I hope and pray you get more of the “better” soon!
My husband was made redundant four years ago and has not been able to get another job, despite a crazy number of applications.
It was such a difficult shift becoming the sole household earner (we weren’t blessed with kids, so I’ve always worked). Boy was I resentful at first!
I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to get to an attitude of service like yours. I was so busy demanding of God and my husband that things be different I couldn’t be grateful for all the “better” we still have, and I couldn’t see how I was making his difficult situation even worse.
It’s only our finances that are troubled! I now can love and appreciate everything else he does for me, and make sure I tell him often.
Autumn, you are so sweet. It has taken a lot of work to move toward the attitude of service. It is a difficult change to make! It sounds like your husband has a wonderful supportive wife. I can’t imagine how difficult it has been for him not finding work. I’ll be praying for you and your family!
Such a great attitude and approach. You absolutely did the right thing and you are right, in the grand scheme of things, this is but a moment in time. But what you are enabling him to do is magical.
Thank you sweetheart. I appreciate you stopping by with encouragement. It’s been rough but it will be worth it!