I talked just a few weeks ago about making sure our husbands have time to spend with their friends.
When I say making sure, I don’t mean forcing it if he doesn’t want to or even scheduling it for him. I mean not grumbling about it. He shouldn’t feel bad about spending some time with friends.
I strongly believe they shouldn’t owe us something in return.
Let me ask you this. Do you keep score in your marriage?
I’ve experienced a few conversations with women that expect this exact thing.
Let’s say your husband spends four hours at a baseball game with a friend. Do you expect him to provide you with four hours of free time (outside the house, no kids)?
I personally think this type of score keeping can lead to no good in a marriage.
Let’s say I tallied up the number of hours my husband spent with his friends in a month. Then took a look at how much time I spend that month. I see that he has spent four hours at a ball game, 3 hours golfing with his dad, 8 hours at guys night, and on, and on.
Then I see that my list consists of a few trips to the grocery store by myself.
I’d slowly start to resent that I’m not receiving as much me time. I’d start grumbling each time he has new plans. I could make it an argument each time there is something he wants to do.
You might be asking ‘who does this?’
Keeping an actual written tally? Probably no one.
Keeping a mental tally? I think a lot of people do this. Husbands and wives.
If your husband has a few more opportunities than you do in a month, consider it a seed. It’s a seed sown into your marriage. It will come back to you. It might not be now but in time your gracious and generous attitude will be rewarded.
Next time, try to remember that your husband will come back renewed, relaxed, and less stressed. This is good for all! He’ll be more attentive and appreciative. He’ll be more helpful with the kids.
Most of all, he’ll realize he has the most wonderful wife in the world!
Now, show of hands…
Who doesn’t want to be the world’s most wonderful wife?!?
Excellent! I’ve been guilty… mostly keeping score of who worked the hardest! (Isn’t that silly?)
I must confess I’ve done this. And sometimes still I rankle when my husband asks me to do something for him. It’s one of my current stumbling blocks that requires time in my prayers every day. *argh*
I don’t know about being the world’s best wife but I definitely want to be the best wife for my husband I can possibly be. I remember a time when I subconsciously kept score and I’m so happy I realized that and could nip it in the bud.
To him you are probably the world’s best wife!!