Why Striving for Perfection Causes Missed Opportunities {Into the Word Wednesday}

Date: April 25, 2013

Author: Exceptionalistic

Categories: Attitude, Bible Study, Children, Ephesians, Faith, Faith, Family, Into the Word Wednesday, Life, Link-ups, Spouse, Time, Uncategorized

Comments: 2 Replies

I’m learning a little more each day that it’s okay that I am not perfect. Learning slowly. Really slowly.

I’d venture to say I’m a perfectionist. I tend to want things to go my way, the right way, and the most efficient way. I am a planner. I am so much of a planner that any kind of impromptu activity makes me a little uneasy.

Immediately I start thinking about how to nix plans to make room for this new, uninvited activity. I have learned to adapt and know that striving for perfection can certainly cause me to miss opportunities. I am not so rigid that I always miss them. I just freak out a little bit at first!

I talked about it back here but last year on vacation we spent almost 4 hours feeding the birds. These birds…

As I look at my life and how busy it’s been it’s okay not to be this exact idea of what I think I must be. That every plan doesn’t have to go off without a hitch. For instance, this post was supposed to be up yesterday.

It’s okay. (Gasp!)

If you are a perfectionist like me, take the time to step back. Take time to enjoy the birds like we did on vacation last year. It was completely unplanned but ended up being a highlight of the trip. Had we forced ourselves to ignore the opportunity and do what we had planned, we would have missed out on all of this.

Ephesians 5: 15-16 leads us right into the way we are to live our lives abiding by the ten commandments. The words in this verse are exactly what I needed to be reminded of this week.

‘Be very careful, then, how you live — not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.’

Making the most of every opportunity might not be my way of doing things. It could be that He is putting something in my path that I need to pay attention to. Something that I need to see. An opportunity to follow Him and what He desires of me.

I knew without a doubt that I needed some family time last night after a very, very long day at work. It was a longer shift than I’m normally scheduled and then I got out 45 minutes past my scheduled time to leave. I had seen my husband and kids for 15 minutes in the morning and by the time I got home it was 30 minutes until bedtime.

They needed me. I could see it. I could feel it. More importantly, I needed it.

For an instance I was worried about not having this post up right on time. I was concerned with something that didn’t matter as much as the hour of playtime with the kids (by letting them stay up late) followed by an impromptu in-home date night with my husband. No offense to any of you but this was definitely something that our family needed last night.

If I had powered through like usual checking items off my list, I would have missed out on some wonderful quality family time.

I will definitely allow these opportunities interrupt my vision of perfection more often!

How about you?

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–Join my co-hostesses and I this week for Into The Word Wednesday!

Becky at Tales of Beauty for Ashes

Sarah at Fontenot Four

Falen at Upward Not Inward

Kelly at Exceptionalistic (looks like you found me!)

Into the Word Wednesday blog hop rules (if you wouldn’t mind!):

1. Link up about something you are learning this week.

2. Follow all hostesses via GFC or Google +.

3. Grab a button to put on your blog – the more the merrier! Check out our sweet new button…

4. Check out (and comment) other people’s blogs to bless them today!

If you enjoyed this post, say thanks by sharing it!

Forced To Obey {Into the Word Wednesday}

Date: April 3, 2013

Author: Exceptionalistic

Categories: Bible Study, Faith, Faith, Family, Into the Word Wednesday, Life, Link-ups, Luke, Time, Uncategorized

Comments: Leave a reply

So, if you follow along you know that the blog has been down for about two weeks. It was mostly my fault for trying to correct something that I had no idea how to fix. It’s all fixed up now and I’m back in the game.

At the moment I realized everything was gone, I almost panicked. I was concerned about the numbers, followers, and most of all letting people down. I link up with some other bloggers on a weekly basis. I hated not being there to support and join in with them.

Then within about ten minutes I realized it was out of my control. Once I calmed down and accepted that this had happened, I realized something.

I had been pushing, pushing, pushing. I’ve been so busy lately with the kids, school, both jobs, the blog, photography, and a few other projects I’m working on.

The night the blog went down it all hit me.

It was time to slow down. I’ve been stretched too thin and for far too long.

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I had been thinking I was doing too much for a while. Yet, when each opportunity presented itself, I pushed on. I continued to do what I thought was best rather than paying attention to what was being asked of me.

Then a few days after the blog went down, it hit me. This is my cue to make a change. Actually it was less of a cue and more of a smack in the face and I needed it. I was being forced to obey and it was exactly what I needed.

In the past two weeks this has happened:

I’ve rearranged my schedule at my part time day job. I made the decision that I could do the days/times that worked for me and if I wasn’t needed in the management position then so be it. Well, I’m still there because they don’t want to lose me and have the schedule I need to make my life work.
I’ve picked up a few extra days at the night job here and there which will help pay for a few upcoming vacations.
I’ve instituted ‘family Thursday’ which is our one full day per week that we will utilize for activities such as the zoo, museum, parks, or anything else that we feel like doing.
I’ve gotten organized when it comes to blogging. I remembered that I started this for me. If I don’t feel like blogging multiple times per week to keep up with the professionals, then I won’t. I’m not getting caught up in the numbers when I’m still so new to this.
I’ve been more intentional with my family time. It’s sacred and I’m not willing to give it up for a few extra dollars. It’s not worth it. I won’t get these years back and the kids almost seem to have grown several years over the past few weeks.
I’ve become less stressed and more relaxed. I’ve been able to enjoy my time off instead of dreading the next time I had to be at work.

Won’t you join me in taking a step back so we can hear what we are being asked to do?

This life we are living needs to be the best one because it’s the only one. It took the blog meltdown to catch my attention. Oh, there were other signs but this one was out of my control because I could not fix it on my own.

What has it taken for you to realize you weren’t being obedient?

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–Join my co-hostesses and I this week for Into The Word Wednesday!

Becky at Tales of Beauty for Ashes

Sarah at Fontenot Four

Falen at Upward Not Inward

Kelly at Exceptionalistic (looks like you found me!)

Into the Word Wednesday blog hop rules (if you wouldn’t mind!):

1. Link up about something you are learning this week.

2. Follow all hostesses via GFC or Google +.

3. Grab a button to put on your blog – the more the merrier! Check out our sweet new button…

4. Check out (and comment) other people’s blogs to bless them today!

If you enjoyed this post, say thanks by sharing it!

Unexpected lesson {Into the Word Wednesday}

Date: July 25, 2012

Author: Exceptionalistic

Categories: Children, Family, Into the Word Wednesday, Jesus, Life, Parenting

Comments: 14 Replies

I love when the Lord speaks to us in unexpected ways. Today was one of those days.

The kids and I were headed out to grab a quick lunch with my mom earlier this week. As we got in the car the rain started to drizzle. As we left the driveway the sky turned dark. There was an unknown car parked on the street across from our house. I had seen it last week in the driveway of a neighbor but didn’t think much about it. We continued on about our way.

The rain was coming down in buckets, thunder crashing. We thought twice about heading to the restaurant less than 4 miles from our home. We turned back. The rain continued, not planning to stop any time soon.

As we drove back to our house we saw the car again. The window was open. Rain pouring inside the car. All I could think of is what an awful mess it would be to clean up. Scouring the garage to find something, anything to cover this window my oldest was trying to help.

He’s 5 going on 12. So inquisitive. The entire time he was asking why I was covering up the window. I explained to him that sometimes we do things to help others. I knew the neighbors were at work and didn’t know how long the storm would last. I explained that this small thing would take 10 minutes and a change of clothes for me to help. The damage to that car sitting in the rain for an entire day would take much more time for the neighbor.

We found a large lawn trash bag. The big one watched the little one in the safety of the garage as I ran down the driveway. I didn’t take an umbrella because it would really have been of no use.

I opened the door, covered the window as best I could just trying to keep the water from rushing in. After changing and drying off, I started getting lunch ready.

My oldest turned to me and said ‘Mommy, that was a really nice thing you did for those people.’ Wow. I was floored. I don’t know why. I guess I didn’t expect him to think much more about it but he did. The wheels had been turning.

I began thinking about how much children watch our actions rather than our words and what the bible says about this. You can hover over the verse to see more.

Is there a time recently that your children watched your actions and reacted to it? I’d love to hear about it!

–Join my co-hostesses and I this week for Into The Word Wednesday!

Becky at Tales of Beauty for Ashes

Sarah at Fontenot Four

Kelly at The Houtz House Party

Falen at Upward Not Inward

Kelly at Exceptionalistic (looks like you found me!)

Into the Word Wednesday blog hop rules (if you wouldn’t mind!):

1. Link up about something you are learning this week.

2. Follow all hostesses via GFC or Google +.

3. Grab a button to put on your blog – the more the merrier! Check out our sweet new button…

Check out (and comment) other people’s blogs to bless them today!

If you enjoyed this post, say thanks by sharing it!

On the side of the road.

Date: June 21, 2012

Author: Exceptionalistic

Categories: Children, Parenting, Proverbs, Purpose

Comments: 4 Replies

It was last week. I remember it well. I’d seen many others like him. Sometimes I felt the prompting but other times I didn’t.

This day was different. My children were in the car. We were probably twelve cars back from him and the questions had already started. What should I say? How do I explain this in a gentle manner?

His clothing was tattered and dirty, his beard was unkempt. He seemed older than me but it was hard to tell. The questions continued. ‘Why is there a man standing there? What is he doing on the side of the road?’

The anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach grew stronger with every inch we moved closer to him. I started to reach for my pocket but the light stayed green longer than expected. To avoid the questions from a five year old and not wanting to stop traffic I drive on to our planned destination.

The guilt grew and grew the further down the road we drove. I started questioning Him. My husband’s company closed down. He’s back in school full time. Money is tight. We have two kids. We need to be smarter than this.

The nudging continued. We’d completed our errand and headed back.

There he was. Still standing on the side of the road between the off ramp I’d come from and the on ramp I needed to head back. The questions had to be answered because there were more questions this time. I explained to my oldest that the man was standing on the side of the road because he’s homeless.

I’d said the word. Homeless. Home…less. Without a home. Without a bed. Without a bathroom.

I’ve always tried to protect them both. I didn’t want to explain homeless to my kids. I didn’t want to create the thought in his head that it’s possible to lose our house. I want him to be a kid not needing to worry about these kinds of things. He’s always asking deep questions. Questions that I don’t remember asking until I was at least ten.

No one is behind me. I stop and reach in my pocket for the only cash I have. It’s a few dollars. I honestly don’t even know how much. I wave him to the car and hand him the money. He said ‘God bless you’ as he took it.

Really? God bless me? God has blessed me. I have a roof over my head, a loving husband, two healthy kids…the list goes on and on. He’s blessed me already. I was so worried about keeping hold of my few dollars. I didn’t want to explain this to my 5 going on 12 year old son. Rather than seeing the opportunity to bless someone else I was worried. I shouldn’t be worried because He will provide.

This was a lesson for me. Would I answer His prompt to bless this man? I almost didn’t. As for explaining to my son. It didn’t end up being an issue. He told me as we drove away that the man should head to Florida because he probably has a mom and dad there. He hasn’t mentioned it again but I hope that seeing me helping another child of God will be a memory that remains with him forever.

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Through the eyes of a child.

Date: May 29, 2012

Author: Exceptionalistic

Categories: Bible Study, Children, Parenting

Comments: 2 Replies

Looking at life through the eyes of a child. Seems so simple, so inviting, so liberating.

I’ve been a bit stressed out lately. Feeling overwhelmed at everything expected of me right now. Jobs have come/gone in the past year, hubby is back in school, kids are growing like weeds, housework, housework & more housework, working out plus the bible study which I so desperately need to do for me right now and so on, and on, and on…..

It’s been a little crazy around my house. I was feeling down and out the other night questioning whether we were doing the right thing in certain areas of our lives (school, jobs, house). Mostly I was concerned how it was affecting the kids. Are they happy? Do they feel the stress we feel? Am I being a good mom despite all that’s going on?

God answers prayers. He answers us even when we aren’t really questioning Him. He knows our innermost fears. I’ve had these questions floating around in my head for the past few weeks keeping me up at night. I couldn’t help but wonder how on earth I’m supposed to balance everything I have on my plate. I was convinced I either needed a bigger plate or needed to get rid of something on it.

I found this picture drawn just before the kids went to bed the other night. It was a blessing to my eyes! The big one is almost 6 now and is becoming an awesome artist. He definitely gets his artistic ability from his daddy! He drew this picture of our family. Look at us! We are smiling, happy, filled with joy (even our cat is happy).

It really helped me slow down to try to see things the way he sees things. He sees the smiles, the good times, the fun of our life. It gives me the energy to continue on and trust that what we are doing is right. I need to remember to ‘see’ and focus on the good rather than focus on the tough.

So here we are! Hubby (yes he does have hair, not sure why there isn’t any in the picture), me with my one long hair : ), the little one with his curly hair and the big one with his wild straight hair. I will treasure this photo. It’s going right in his special box. This is how he sees our family. He doesn’t see the stress, the panic or the fear. He’s comfortable in his world. I am going to start viewing life as he does. I will run with this and see my world through the eyes of a child.

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