Faith

On Feeling Unworthy and Admitting Defeat

The truth:

I feel defeated.

I’ve been here multiple times over the past few days praying for a topic for this weeks link up.  Why is there nothing this time?  What am I doing wrong this time? 

Could it be that my heart isn’t in it?  I feel the constant struggle between the woman I want to be, the writer I want to become, and the ministry I want to provide.  Yet these three need to come together and coexist.

I’ve always said I don’t want to write just to write.  I want to write because it’s something someone somewhere in this world needs to read these words.   

So today, I’m here. Open, honest, and feeling unworthy.  Feeling like I’m letting you down.  Yes, you.  The one that comes here to feel encouraged on a weekly basis from one or all of us. 

I’m not a biblical scholar.  Not by a long shot.  I do believe in the Word though.  I am not perfect nor would I ever claim to be.  Could it be that I was never meant for this type of link up?  This kind of responsibility? 

You know.  The kind that you feel obligated to be ‘on’ every week.  Feeling the need to be close to perfection?  I don’t need that kind of pressure because if I feel pressured, it won’t be His message.  It will be mine.  The message that I’m forcing to be amazing.  One that may or may not be ready to be told. 

Here’s a warning as we move forward.  There may be many posts that aren’t even in the vicinity of perfection.  There may be some weeks where a bible verse is all I can give.  One that I’m focusing on but am not able to elaborate on quite yet.   This is where I am in my walk.  I’m okay with it.  I hope you are too.

I have a need to embrace that right now.  Be who I am.  A teeny, tiny baby Christian who has stayed one for far too long.  Believing His words that I can do all things!!!

This is me.

Sincerely,

Unworthy & Defeated

Exceptionalistic

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He Will Deliver You {Into the Word Wednesday}

I’m keeping it short and sweet today.  

This past week has been really, really tough on a lot of people that I hold so dear.

Each of these three are currently going through something I can’t imagine enduring. 

For them and anyone else who may need it, here is a reminder.

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–Join my co-hostesses and I this week for Into The Word Wednesday!

Becky at Tales of Beauty for Ashes

Sarah at Fontenot Four

Falen at Upward Not Inward

Kelly at Exceptionalistic (looks like you found me!)

Into the Word Wednesday blog hop rules (if you wouldn’t mind!):

1. Link up about something you are learning this week.

2. Follow all hostesses via GFC or Google +.

3. Grab a button to put on your blog – the more the merrier! Check out our sweet new button…

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Exceptionalistic

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4. Check out (and comment) other people’s blogs to bless them today!

He

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Faves {Into the Word Wednesday}

So, reading through the posts linked up last week helped me realize one thing.

My post was the best of them all.

Teasing!!!!

Ha ha, I had to get that joke out of my system.

Seriously friends, you keep outdoing yourself.  I love feeling encouraged by each of you.  This is where I turn when I’m feeling a little down.  When I need a pick me up.  Or when I feel alone.

Do not take offense if you weren’t featured by me this week.  I’m sure you all know that on any given week we can be touched by something, then not the following week.  Based on my life this week, the following two posts really spoke to me.  I’d love to hear which spoke to you though, so leave me a comment! 

Are you a worrier?  Do you allow yourself to be consumed with things you can’t control?  I’ll admit that I used to be.  I used to be concerned about things that were so improbable that it didn’t make sense to spend so much energy on them. 

Brook over at ‘Rivers of Water’ covers this in her post from last week entitled 3 Reasons We Don’t Need to Worry.  Amazing what He will do for us when we just believe.  I’m not sure about you but Jarius was a serious man of faith. 

“Don’t fret, only believe.”  Mark 5:35-36 

Another favorite is from Rachael over at ‘Inking the Heart‘. 

I posted about perfection last week and she goes into depth on this subject this week.  I love it!!  It’s like I needed to read more on the subject.  Thanks Rachael! 

Here is part of what she has to say and wow.  It’s power-packed! 

‘Yes, I am not perfect, but the Word says I am saved by grace.  And so are you!  It is a Truth we know, but don’t always let sink in.   So whatever imperfections are staring you in the face today, close your eyes and grab on to this Truth.  This Christian life can be a roller coaster ride and grace will get you back on the tracks when you derail.’

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–Join my co-hostesses and I this week for Into The Word Wednesday!

Becky at Tales of Beauty for Ashes

Sarah at Fontenot Four

Falen at Upward Not Inward

Kelly at Exceptionalistic (looks like you found me!)

Into the Word Wednesday blog hop rules (if you wouldn’t mind!):

1. Link up about something you are learning this week.

2. Follow all hostesses via GFC or Google +.

3. Grab a button to put on your blog – the more the merrier! Check out our sweet new button…

.

Exceptionalistic

.

4. Check out (and comment) other people’s blogs to bless them today!

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Why Striving for Perfection Causes Missed Opportunities {Into the Word Wednesday}

I’m learning a little more each day that it’s okay that I am not perfect.  Learning slowly.  Really slowly.

I’d venture to say I’m a perfectionist.  I tend to want things to go my way, the right way, and the most efficient way.  I am a planner.  I am so much of a planner that any kind of impromptu activity makes me a little uneasy. 

Immediately I start thinking about how to nix plans to make room for this new, uninvited activity.  I have learned to adapt and know that striving for perfection can certainly cause me to miss opportunities.  I am not so rigid that I always miss them.  I just freak out a little bit at first!

I talked about it back here but last year on vacation we spent almost 4 hours feeding the birds.  These birds…

As I look at my life and how busy it’s been it’s okay not to be this exact idea of what I think I must be.  That every plan doesn’t have to go off without a hitch.  For instance, this post was supposed to be up yesterday.

It’s okay. (Gasp!)

If you are a perfectionist like me, take the time to step back.  Take time to enjoy the birds like we did on vacation last year.  It was completely unplanned but ended up being a highlight of the trip.  Had we forced ourselves to ignore the opportunity and do what we had planned, we would have missed out on all of this.  

Ephesians 5: 15-16 leads us right into the way we are to live our lives abiding by the ten commandments.  The words in this verse are exactly what I needed to be reminded of this week. 

‘Be very careful, then, how you live — not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.’ 

Making the most of every opportunity might not be my way of doing things.  It could be that He is putting something in my path that I need to pay attention to.  Something that I need to see.  An opportunity to follow Him and what He desires of me. 

I knew without a doubt that I needed some family time last night after a very, very long day at work.  It was a longer shift than I’m normally scheduled and then I got out 45 minutes past my scheduled time to leave.  I had seen my husband and kids for 15 minutes in the morning and by the time I got home it was 30 minutes until bedtime. 

They needed me.  I could see it.  I could feel it.  More importantly, I needed it. 

For an instance I was worried about not having this post up right on time.  I was concerned with something that didn’t matter as much as the hour of playtime with the kids (by letting them stay up late) followed by an impromptu in-home date night with my husband.  No offense to any of you but this was definitely something that our family needed last night.   

If I had powered through like usual checking items off my list, I would have missed out on some wonderful quality family time. 

I will definitely allow these opportunities interrupt my vision of perfection more often!

How about you? 

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–Join my co-hostesses and I this week for Into The Word Wednesday!

Becky at Tales of Beauty for Ashes

Sarah at Fontenot Four

Falen at Upward Not Inward

Kelly at Exceptionalistic (looks like you found me!)

Into the Word Wednesday blog hop rules (if you wouldn’t mind!):

1. Link up about something you are learning this week.

2. Follow all hostesses via GFC or Google +.

3. Grab a button to put on your blog – the more the merrier! Check out our sweet new button…

.

Exceptionalistic

.

4. Check out (and comment) other people’s blogs to bless them today!

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Innocent Bystander {Into the Word Wednesday}

I’ll be honest.  My stomach has been in knots since hearing about the explosions in Boston.

It’s another one of those events that becomes a permanent fixture in your mind.  Remembering that I was home from school with the flu the day the Challenger exploded.  Recalling the events of 9/11, realizing the mom of the family I cared for was flying that day, then waiting several hours to hear from her.

I’m sad that sometimes I hear about an event like this and I’m no longer surprised.

I will be honest.  My first reaction to the news wasn’t shock.  I was angry.  So out-of-my-mind angry that something like this happened again.

Then…

I saw the photo of the beautiful 8 year old boy that and instantly broke down.  The anger was quickly replaced with compassion.  I can not even imagine what his family is going through. 

If you are a parent of a young child, I’m sure you felt the same.  I thought of my own little ones.  I thought of how I’d feel if either of them were an innocent bystander in such a tragedy.  I’m leaning on this verse this week.

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–Join my co-hostesses and I this week for Into The Word Wednesday!

Becky at Tales of Beauty for Ashes

Sarah at Fontenot Four

Falen at Upward Not Inward

Kelly at Exceptionalistic (looks like you found me!)

Into the Word Wednesday blog hop rules (if you wouldn’t mind!):

1. Link up about something you are learning this week.

2. Follow all hostesses via GFC or Google +.

3. Grab a button to put on your blog – the more the merrier! Check out our sweet new button…

.

Exceptionalistic

.

4. Check out (and comment) other people’s blogs to bless them today!

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